The Enneagram DescriptionsThree personality types influenced by FeelingThe Enneagram divides its nine types into Triads, grouping them into combinations that highlight how they are different from each other and how they are the same within each grouping. The Feeling Triad identifies its main motivation as a desire to counteract weak self-worth, confused self-identify, and bottled-up hostility. Feeling types deal with these concerns by seeking attention. Each of the Feeling types can also be characterized by the Harmonic groups, which identify the coping mechanisms of each of the styles: Informed, Optimistic, and Reactive.
See also our introduction to the Enneagram system. To find a specific Enneagram personality type for yourself or someone else, use our interactive Enneagram Matrix. The Achiever - Three
A Three with a Two-wing is called the Charmer. He or she combines the generous, helpful nature of a Two with the graciousness and drive to achieve of a Three. Rather than seeking to fulfill themselves in their relationships with others one-on-one, the Charmers can look to substitute the recognition and attention of public life as a way to meet their need for connection. Known as the Professional, the Three with a Four-wing is introspective and controlled. They are more focused on the task at hand than the Charmers, and feel anchored to the work they do rather than the people for whom they do it. It is important for them to maintain their competence with every project, and they invest a lot of themselves in everything they do. One of the ways you will know you are dealing with a Three is that he or she will have the personal goals to build a stable home environment and obtain a foundation of cash and assets. They may not have those things yet, but they are working toward getting them. This is the strategy that Threes use to feel secure. Threes also seek recognition and reassurance, and one of the ways they do this is to build an impressive resume of good grades, prestigious degrees, awards, and impressive job histories. They are not the "shrinking violet" types, and are good at self-promotion. Not only are they effective Achievers, they don't hesitate to tell you so. Another signature trait of Threes is that they tend to be good-looking and charismatic. They have a talent at being seductive and attractive, making it easy for them to claim the center of attention. The downside for Threes is that their accomplishment drive covers up their insecurity about their worth. By performing and doing, the Three attempts to deceive others — and themselves — regarding their authentic self. They try to counteract the feeling of inadequacy by looking for outside validation of their worth. By winning contests and achieving goals, they bolster their self-esteem. But since they don't really believe in their own self-worth, they have to continue to push themselves toward ever greater successes. The danger is that Threes can become workaholics who become drained of the joy of life. They feel trapped by the roles they are playing and are inauthentic and unhappy. Healthy Threes need to drop the self-deceit and learn to accept themselves without confusing what they do with who they are. Then their qualities of ambition, confidence, and persistence can help them to enhance their success while allowing them to maintain their emotional balance. The Caretaker - Two
Twos with a One-wing have a Servant personality. They combine the idealism of the One with a compassionate, caretaking nature. You will find these types in the helping professions, and they excel as doctors, nurses, educators, social workers, and ministers. This type struggles against what they feel are their own selfish attitudes by putting others first; they have a moral commitment to making their lives serve a higher purpose. Twos with a Three-wing are often considered Hosts or Hostesses, like the proprietors of a special gathering place with a big welcome sign. Everyone likes to come to their house, where guests feel right at home and can be assured of good food, charming conversation, and a listening ear. Twos have a tendency to ignore their own needs in their efforts to take care of everyone else. Since they have a hard time saying "no," it is easy for them to become overcommitted. They can be addicted to the approval of others, so they do everything they can to please others and be validated by their good opinion and goodwill. They have a strong need to be connected with others, and are happiest when they are surrounded with their family and friends. Twos also have their shadow sides. Their loving stance can be a protective shell to cover an underlying concern that they are themselves unworthy and unlovable. Twos hope that by being especially solicitous they will be able to overcome whatever innate flaws lie within them. The upshot is they can then become angry and resentful about all the sacrifices they are making for other people. Aren't they doing good things for others? Then where is the payback for them? Twos can sometimes become manipulative as well, becoming the stereotypical "stage mothers" who do everything for their loved ones but also push them in the direction the Twos wants them to go, giving or withholding their affections and support. However, Twos can learn to avoid intrusiveness, letting go of jealousy, control, and possessiveness. At their best, the Caretakers make people happy without strings attached, and they make the world a better, more compassionate place. The Romantic - Four
A Four with a Three-wing can be thought of as the Aristocrat. They have the creativity and need for self-improvement of a Four combined with the ambition and ability to set and achieve goals of a Three. They can be successful with a distinctive flair and a sense of the dramatic. Sometimes feeling it is important to give the appearance of success in addition to its reality, Aristocrats can portray sophistication, refinement and elegance in appearance, as well as high status in their choice of schools, jobs, and neighborhoods. They give a very different appearance from the other subtype, the Four with a Five-wing, or the Bohemian. These Fours add the shy, studious nature of a Five with the imaginative, emotional temperament of the Four. They don't worry about what others think, and they certainly aren't worried about their appearances. Fundamentally, they are the rebels and the cynics. Bohemians can be eccentric and prickly, private, and difficult to get to know. To live around a Four is to deal with emotional roller-coaster moods, up and down. Although much of the action takes place internally, it also spills out into how they interact with others. In most cases, Fours are practical and not particularly stoic. When they can afford it, they will live in comfortable, pleasant-looking surroundings that may reflect their artistic eye. Because they feel like misfits (remember their concern that something is missing), Fours will often feel most comfortable joining groups with other "outsiders" as a way to camouflage their feelings of inadequacy. So rather than join a country club, Fours are more likely to join a gothic rock group's fan club. In their relationships, Fours look for rescuers who will make everything worthwhile. They are on a constant quest for the perfect, intense, romantic liaison, which for the most part never materializes. They envy all their friends who seem to have found the relationship that they long to have. Whatever relationship they do have is never the right one; they always see the bitter flaws in whoever is their current partner. It is tough being a Four, and this type has a constant struggle with depression. They can be hypersensitive, and that makes it very difficult for them to deal with criticism. Fours can become immobilized by indecision, and their tendency to drift towards procrastination can get them into trouble. Self absorbed, they have the ability to overlook the bigger picture of what is happening in their lives. Being concerned about abandonment, others can become disenchanted with the needy, selfish, withholding, sulking creature Fours sometimes present to their friends and foes alike. As Fours grow in maturity, they acquire skills of self discipline and are better able to connect with others based on a stronger sense of their own true identity. More Enneagram Descriptions:  |
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Threes are the successful, status-conscious, ambitious types of the Enneagram. They are known as Achievers in this framework, but other labels that would fit include Motivator, Paragon, Role Model, Communicator, Status Seeker, or even "The Best." These are the people who enter contests and win. They are presidents of their high school classes, winners of debates, officers of community organizations, and inspirational speakers. They are driven not just to meet but to exceed the goals they set for themselves. They believe in themselves, and they feel that their self-worth is tied up in their success.
Twos are the nurturing, caring type of the Enneagram. They exhibit the traits we associate with the best features of our mothers, including being compassionate, generous, loving, and considerate. In addition to the Caretaker, other names that also fit include Altruist, Pleaser, Enabler, Lover, and Special Friend. They are good listeners and are ready to give sympathy and support not only to their families but to those they know at church and at work.
Fours are the introspective, sensitive types of the Enneagram. As the Romantics, they can see reality with unique perspectives, and some are gifted poets. They have rich inner dialogues and can seem self-absorbed to outsiders. Their inner lives are a journey toward understand what is missing in themselves. They know there is a hole in their souls, but they cannot figure out what it is or how to fill it. On the outside, they can be temperamental and moody. One moment sees them being expressive and dramatic, while the next sees them withdrawn and cool. Other names that fit Fours include Artist, Melancholic, Individualist, Aesthete, Tragic Victim, and Special One. They are never quite satisfied with what they have and are always wishing for what is just out of reach.